Victory for the Queens of Fail

Did anyone else see this???

I’m guessing a lot of people did. If you’re a Big Bang Theory fan, you realize just how epic it is.

I’ve found myself watching this a lot in the past 48 hours (seriously, a lot), but I couldn’t put my finger on why I was watching it so much until now:

I can relate to Amy.

In fact, if I were to choose characters from various TV shows that reminded me of me in some way, Amy would definitely make the list. Nothing goes right for Amy. Her past has been a mishmash of awkwardness; she’s never been at the top of anyone’s list (as we learn when she’s offered the maid of honor position for Bernadette’s wedding). When these things do start falling into place, she genuinely appreciates them because she’s never had them before.

And of course there’s Sheldon. Although Amy feels she’s hit the proverbial jackpot of boyfriends, she still faces a long uphill battle: patience versus intimacy. Sometimes she’s good at being patient with Sheldon. More often, though, her desire for something deeper with him is only thinly veiled.

I think that’s why I love this scene so much. So often, I am the Queen of Fail. I have good intentions, and I’m hoping for a positive outcome, but things just blow up in my face. And that’s where Amy is here. Once again, she’s trying to nudge Sheldon into something more, only to have it blow up in her face. And then there’s the added insult of Sheldon mocking her romantic aspirations, which he seems to feel are shallow. However, at the last minute, it becomes clear that something powerfully deep has been there all along, and it’s suddenly very visible. The trip–and the relationship–are changed for the better.

So, for what it’s worth, I want to say “kudos” to The Big Bang Theory, for reminding the Queens of Fail like me that sometimes the best things can come from even the worst mistakes.

I Am Not a Delicate Flower (or, Why I Screen Certain Calls)

Image

A friend shared a quote with me not too long ago, and I found it quite accurate. I don’t have the source, but the quote goes something like this: “The church tends to treat female believers like women first, and Christians, a far distant second.”

I think that quote best encapsulates why I have a love-hate relationship with women’s events. On one hand, yes, I am female. I know that having “girl friends” is important, just like a guy having “guy friends.” It’s something we all need. And I can have fun shopping or goofing off with makeup as much as the next girl. But I also like to play video games and shoot guns. The photo above was a few days after I shot a few high-caliber rifles for the first time. Granted, I avoid the high-kick guns now if possible because I remember how painful that bruise was. But, at the time, I was also proud of myself. I had earned it. Where are the women’s events for someone like that?

I’ve only been to 2 specified “women’s events” ever, so I do realize I can’t judge them all like this. But there were similar patterns to both. One was a small gathering. There were lots of flowers and frilly things, and pregnant women, and a warm fuzzy devotion time. The other one was a Beth Moore conference last year. I went for a friend; I didn’t want her to be stuck in the group with nobody remotely her age. I have nothing personal against Beth Moore; I think it’s great that women (especially in conservative circles) are leading more and being recognized for their giftedness. But when I walked into the stadium, there were sparkly things and butterflies and pink/purple drapings everywhere. It was like My Little Pony, Barbie, and a glitter bomb had been thrown together and exploded. And there were gift baskets, which were a nice gesture, but even those had equally puzzling things. (Sorry, no, I don’t need a decorative stake to put in my nonexistent garden/houseplant.) And it didn’t help that Mrs. Moore was addressing us as “girlfriend” every fifth sentence or so. I don’t even call my girlfriends “girlfriend.” And it was a shame, because she did have some good things to say. But, the saturated environment was distracting to me. My husband had a guy’s weekend the same weekend, and after the first meeting, I told him I was very tempted to find a fake ‘stache and try to sneak into his thing.

I had been fairly at ease with my decision to avoid traditional women’s events. Although I knew I needed that community, I also felt very out of place in it–not “girly” enough. But that conference pretty much cemented my decision. I made sure to “miss” calls from certain church ladies who I knew were only calling to notify me of the next women’s group meeting. After church one Sunday, one of them caught me to invite me to their Easter gathering–which included Easter bonnets. Seriously? Bonnets and glitter and butterflies and pink everything–is that what femininity is nowadays? 

Don’t get me wrong, modern society’s view of women has some major flaws. But at least the idea is out there that you don’t have to be Paul Bunyan to be a good man, and you don’t have to be Scarlet O’Hara to be a good woman. Yet, this concept doesn’t seem to have reached the traditional church at large. Essentially, the only choices there are either big community with sugary, powderpuff femininity, or little/no community with realism and peace of mind. 

I haven’t given up on female community–though, truth be told, I think my odds are at least better with females my own age. But it’s still quite troubling. I mean, women in the Bible certainly weren’t all rainbows and butterflies. In Judges, Jael drove a tent stake through a guy’s head. For all I know, she may have been barefoot and pregnant, but either way, she was still a badass. I’m not looking to do anything like that, but I am looking to learn something concrete and practical. Yes, women need to vent sometimes (case in point, this post) and do weird girl things like bawl at movies and eat lots of ice cream; I am not exempt from that. But PMS, body image, families–these things are not all that defines being a woman. I don’t need hearts and flowers and butterflies and to be called “girlfriend” every five seconds. I’m female; I get it. Off days aside, I’m more or less used to that by now. But I’m also living life in a world where there are problems and issues bigger than how pretty I feel. And as a Christian who just happens to be female, shouldn’t I be equipped just as much as the guys so that I can also have something positive to contribute to those issues?

That’s why I say if all you have is frills and glitter, you can keep it. I’ll hang out with the guys and do something productive.

BB Creams: The Quest Continues…

And now, an admittedly shallow post.

I’ve seen articles on various beauty websites about BB creams. The story goes, they started in Germany to help patients recovering from facial surgeries. Korean actresses started using them, word got out, and they became a big deal in Korea. Now, they are slowly but surely making their way here.

The part that intrigued me, however, was the all-in-one nature of BB creams. Depending on the cream, BB creams more or less can cover all your bases: blemish coverage, antiaging, moisturizing, oil control, skin whitening, sun protection, and either makeup primer or foundation, depending.

I admit that I have not been as kind to my face as I should be. I know at this stage of my life I should start looking for more antiaging stuff, and be putting face lotion/sunscreen on, etc. But for goodness’ sake, I’m sneaking up on 30 and still dealing with acne issues (and currently dermatitis to boot). The short-term annoyances tend to be a distraction from the long-term consequences.

One downside to BB creams is that they usually only come in a few shades. They are supposed to match your skin tone within about 15 minutes of application. There are some brands that have creams for darker complexions, but for the most part, the world of BB cream seems to favor the pasty.

The other downside is that while BB creams are becoming more popular here, it’s not exactly something you can buy at your local Wal-Mart. Sephora US has just brought on about 4 BB Creams to the US market. Sephora Canada only has one. If you have a local Korean market (or maybe even just an Asian market, though I haven’t had a chance to check the one here yet), you may find some. Outside of that, though, you’re pretty much looking at an online purchase. And though samples can be found, more often than not, it’s going to be a full-sized product. Meaning, if it doesn’t work for you, you’re kind of stuck with it.

With all this in mind, I have been trying to research what BB creams would work best for me, based on reviews and descriptions. I am very reluctant to drop a bunch of money on a bunch of full-sized products that don’t even do what I’m looking for. First, though, I thought I would give the one at Sephora Canada a shot.

P288804_hero1

From what I read, it seemed like people either really liked or really hated the Boscia BB Cream. I figured I’d try a sample and see. Why buy online if someone has a perfectly suitable local one?

Unfortunately, this one didn’t do it for me. Granted, I had to learn how to apply BB cream. At first I tried to just put the cream straight on my face, and quickly realized that was a bad idea. My face is combo/oily. Usually, the later in the day, the oilier it is. However, BB cream is not something you slather on dry skin. You’re supposed to only do a few dots, pat them in/rub it in, and then go back over trouble spots (or your whole face if you prefer). After my initial application, I grabbed some moisturizer, which helped, so I went over it again. The color was a bit too dark for me. I am pretty pasty (usually either the lightest or second lightest foundation shade available). However, it wasn’t so dark that the difference was really noticeable, so I stuck with it. Coverage wasn’t bad. It didn’t completely cover my bony undereye circles, but pretty much nothing outside of my super strong concealer can. It did a good job covering my dermatitis, but post acne marks were still noticeable (I figured they would be). I definitely wouldn’t have argued with more coverage. The place where Boscia pretty much tanked for me was oil control. By the end of the work day, I was an oil slick. Not attractive.

So, the quest for a good BB cream continues. Those in the know say shop by what you’re looking for, not color, etc.

Ideally, I am looking for:

  • Fuller coverage
  • Acne/post acne mark healing/lightening
  • Antiaging
  • Sunscreen
  • Oil control
  • Pore minimizing would be a bonus

Based on my research so far, any of these sound like they might do this:

  • BRTC Blemish Recover Balm
  • Skin79 Perfection Super Plus
  • Dr. Jart’s Silver Label (oily skin)
  • Innisfree Eco Natural Cover
  • Missha M Vita Matte (recommended to me by a website)
  •  Skinfood Peach Sake
  • Dr. Jart’s Platinum Label (???)

One site that has been particularly helpful in all this is BB Cream Queen. However, I still need help. If anybody has similar issues to me (oily/slightly aging skin, large pores on nose, pale complexion, acne/post acne marks/other skin issues) and experience with these creams, advice is appreciated. Even if you have samples to get rid of, that would be awesome. Thanks!