So, I graduated last week. There were some bittersweet moments, like saying goodbye to friends. There were also some funny moments, such as somebody yelling out, “That my baby momma!” when some girl went to get her diploma. Part of me felt bad for her, but part of me thought it was humorous. Honestly, I kinda wish I had a crazy cheering section, but no such luck. Tell ya what, when I get the Master’s, does anybody want to volunteer to come up to Canada for graduation and lead my cheering squad? You could paint your faces and bring some airhorns, cowbells, whatever you like. Get back to me on it… Anyway, there were also some kinda weird moments at graduation, like the mayor’s deal about how while my graduating class was not better than everybody else, we were “up here,” while (as he said), “the rest of us are down here…you’ve got to come down a little and we’ve got to step up a little.” I didn’t get it, but I wasn’t so sure I was jiving with what he seemed to be implying. Also, of course, my graduation class hearing/singing the school’s alma mater for the first time…at graduation…
Anyways, my family and I made the drive to the new place. I like it okay so far. It’s gonna take awhile to learn my way around. Mostly I’ve just been unpacking boxes this week (I’m almost done!). Today I got 2 shirts at Wal-Mart for $3 apiece. I’m not too proud for Wal-Mart clearance, haha. Still, I need to get some more stuff in preparation for Canada…jeans, layering stuff, etc. One item I’m debating purchase is some Ebay snow boots. For those who don’t know, I gracefully slipped on some ice over Spring Break haha and gave myself a nice bruise on my knee. I don’t think it’d be possible to slip in these bad boys:
I know if I were a patch of ice, I would flee before them haha.
I watched 2 of my TV indulgences tonight: American Idol and Dog the Bounty Hunter (sad but true). I don’t generally watch a lot of TV, but I tend to watch more at home than at school. The rest of my TV indulgence list includes: What Not to Wear, Inked, the Cosby Show, and pretty much all those 90’s classic sitcoms. Anyways, far as Idol goes, I still say Chris leaving was a great loss (though I’ve heard stuff about him maybe being the next lead singer for Creed or Fuel?). However, of those left, I vote Taylor.
Starfield’s new CD came out today, and I’ve been listenin faithfully. It’s definitely worth checking out, whether on Itunes or actually buying the album. Hopefully, I’ll get to see Starfield, Superchic[k], and The Afters when they come this way in June.
Several people have asked me what I will be doing this summer (besides streaking my hair blue…no, I haven’t forgotten). My answer is…I honestly don’t know. This summer will be really weird because it will be the first time I have not gone on summer missions. Normally I’m antsy to leave by summer missions time; I can’t imagine how stir crazy I’ll go being home a whole summer. Right now, the plan is to stay home and work, try to save up for seminary. Part of me wonders if God wants me back in Canada for the summer. Of course I’d love to go, but it’s kind of out of my hands. I’ve told God that if He wants me there, if He opens something up, I’ll go on.
There’s still so much I don’t know: how I’ll get there, how I’ll pay for it…just a lot of stuff. Honestly, it’s a little scary. It’s just starting to hit me in certain places that I am really doing this. I feel kind of like Indiana Jones when he does the step of faith in the Lost Ark. I can see some stuff on the other side, but at the same time, the chasm between here and there is vast. I guess the scariest part of it all is that I have to grow up. The thought crossed my mind the other day: I have to grow up now, and I don’t really want to. I see my parents worrying about bills and insurance and all that kind of stuff. While I recognize that those things are necessary, the baggage that seems to accompany them makes me nervous; I don’t want that to be my experience as an adult. Who knows, maybe it won’t be.
Still, sometimes, no matter how “adult” I may be in age, the idea of stranding myself in another country for 3 years minimum makes me feel very young and frail. Despite how I may feel, though, this isn’t a me thing. This is a God thing, which means that it’s going to turn out for His eternal glory, which is far better than anything I could hope for myself.