Thus far–
12 page paper. Done in 1 week.
8 page paper. Done in 3 days.
7 page paper. Done in approximately 3 days.

God’s been really good and merciful. That’s all I know to say, because normally it would take me forever to do such things, and getting logical words to come out would be like pulling teeth. Such has not really been the case here, though, thankfully. Now I just have 3 articles and the final photojournalism project.

I have lost some subscribers. I am sorry to see them go. For the faithful who remain, I will try to do stuff every now and then to make your sustained reading worthwhile.

To those at MC, I think somebody should write a song that has the phrase “caterpillar corpses” somewhere in it. Not only is it nice alliteration…it’s reality. They’re everywhere these days. I try not to step on them, though, because I kinda like to watch them crawl; it’s pretty cool.  I’m still waiting to see a really fat one, though–like the huge, gorged caterpillars you see on TV right before they turn into butterflies. I wanna see one of those. I’m not sure why…

Today I found out I’m getting a laptop for graduation; I had already done some browsing, but I guess I’ll get more serious about it soon. Not looking forward to transferring all the info from my desktop, though. However, I am looking forward to the purchase of an mp3 player one of these days–hopefully someday soon. I was thinking something like this:

It’s the Creative Zen Sleek. It’s about the simplest mp3 player I’ve found with a lot of storage. Because, though photos and video and all is cool, it would only be an added bonus. I just want to listen to music. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be able to find a decent Zen Sleek for under $200. I’d love to just spend $100, but that’s pretty much a joke all things considered, haha. However, I shall continue to aspire. I think even just the plain Zen would suit my purpose, if I could find one. If anybody has any suggestions on either, let me know.

However, all that small talk stuff aside, I do actually have a significant observation to make. And for those who know me well, it’s going to sound weird. God’s been teaching me about love. Yes, it is true.

My good friends know me as a very independent-spirited person. My mantra to girls (and guys, for that matter) over the past few years has more or less been: “You don’t need a relationship more than you need God. For all you know, you may not be meant to be married–if God doesn’t have a mate in mind for you, is He any less good? Learn to be content being single, with life just being you and God; then see what He does, because then it will be good either way.” That kind of stuff. And I still believe it all wholeheartedly. In fact, just from observing friends around me, I think I’ve about decided that until you’re content seeking God and being single, you aren’t spiritually ready for a relationship.

So this is where the irony kicks in. It’s just been in the past few years that I’ve become pretty comfortable referring to God as Father and having that kind of relationship with Him. But lately, He’s been asking for more–He’s been asking for Husband (yes, from me, the single chick). I thought about it and realized that it’s been a dual relationship the entire time, I just haven’t taken advantage of the duality. From the moment we decide to follow Christ, we become part of a dual relationship–we become God’s child and we also become part of the Bride of Christ. The relationship had always been two-sided, I just never explored the other side, and I’ve been missing out on it.

For some people, seeing God as Father is a complicated and difficult issue. It may be much easier to imagine oneself as God’s bride than His child. For me, it’s the reverse. Being God’s child is not an unfathomable thing to me. Being His bride, on the other hand, is much more difficult for me to wrap my head around. As I told someone, “It’s difficult for me to imagine God as Boyfriend, much less Husband.” Being someone’s bride means putting that person’s well-being ahead of your own. It means service, and intimacy, and submission, and dedication, and undying love. It’s not kiddie stuff (no pun intended). So, right now in my walk, I’m just trying to learn to embrace the duality of my relationship with God. I want to be a good wife to Him. And, somehow I know that for one, this is a vital principle for me to embrace. For two, if I can learn to be a good wife to God, I’ll be a–a much better follower of Christ, and b–a much better wife to my earthly husband (if I ever marry).

And if all that weren’t enough, there’s more. As I was walking to class this morning, I think God showed me a good illustration of what love is, via a tree:

This looks like a normal tree. But if you look at it, there’s something cool to observe:

This tree starts from the roots growing up as one unit, but then it branches off into 3 big branches. After it branches out, though, it intertwines itself once again. The life of one branch is pretty much literally tangled in the life of another.

We’re all people; we come from the same ground, and we’re made of the same stuff. We grow up as individuals. I think love is the choice to become entangled again. In love (and I mean any kind, whether friend, more than friend, whatever), no person can be an island. To love means to put someone else before yourself. You still function in a healthy way by yourself, but at the same time, your well-being is hopelessly tangled up with the well-being of someone else. In fact, in the case of the tree, to untangle the branches would probably kill the whole tree.

Why are we afraid to get “tangled up” with someone? Why are we afraid to let someone get “tangled up” with us?

If God is my Husband–and if I love Him–I need to get “tangled up” with Him. To have my life completely and irrevocably interwined with His. I want to be “tangled up” with Him.


13 thoughts on “Tangled

  1. Love the allegory, and the new profile picture :)I need to try out my new camera sometime if you need some pictures =PAs for the catepillars..Callie and I noticed they are starting to build cacoons. So thats exciting that soon we’ll have beautiful butterflies instead of catepillars all over the ground. πŸ™‚

  2. hey friend.thanks so much.that meant a lot. sometimes it’s just hard ya know?life. sweet life. it’s good. it really is.it just confuses the crap out of me.and thanks again. really.-sam

  3. Yeah, I’ve noticed the caterpillers too.  I feel bad for them whenever I see a squished one.   I even found one in napkin basket in the caf the other day.
    It always amazes me when God is working some of the same issues in the lives of my friends as He is in me.  I used to think that I would never be complete until I found that “special someone”, but I already have.  His name is God and He is amazing. 
    Some of my friends rare back when I talk about how if God calls me to be single the rest of my life, I would be ok with it now. (not that I would really have a choice)  They can’t see past not having a physical person there to hold them and love them.
    I believe God has called me to be single at this particular time in my life, and I’m really enjoying it.  If He one day calls me to not be single, I’ll be overjoyed.  But if I can better serve Him in the ministry if I’m single, I’m all for it!
    Lol.  I came here to tell you that I really enjoyed getting to just stop and talk to you this afternoon, but I ended up leaving you a post-size comment. Sorry!
    I love you! I’ll miss seeing you! I know we don’t really get to talk all that much, but you are an amazing woman and I know God is going to work miracles in and through you!

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